This summer I had a little time off before beginning my next semester of grad school and during that time I was able to read Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. had heard a lot of buzz about it and just never had enough time to get through it.
What I really loved about this book is that it is straightforward, easy to follow, and practical.
Every day in life we have about a million responsibilities and this book really focuses on how to not let those get out of control and how to really do what matters to you….by giving less fucks about other things, you can give more attention to the important things that really matter in your life.
This is a book about moving lightly despite your heavy burdens, resting easier with your greatest fears, and laughing at your tears as you cry them.
It will also help you think a little bit more clearly about what you’re choosing to find important in life and what you’re choosing to find unimportant.
These are some of the quotes that really resonated with me and I wanted to share them.
“The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about what is true and immediate and important.”
“You need to say “fuck it”, not to everything in life, but rather to everything UNIMPORTANT in life. You need to reserve your fucks for what truly matters. Friends. Family. Purpose. Burritos.”
I mean, right?! Burritos are life….thank you Chipotle! If you go ahead and deplete all your energy on things that don’t matter, then by the time you need the reserves for times that DO matter….you’re going to be shit out of luck because you are not a superhero. You cannot keep going and going and not refill yourself up. You are not the energizer bunny!
The next section talked about failure and I think it is so very important.
I can’t tell you the number of times that I have been asked to do things that are out of my comfort zone….like WAY OUT! and I freak out, and i panic and then i doubt myself. and then after ALL that, the stress goes to my GI tract and I have diarrhea. But you know what…I do the freak out, and then I process what I have to do, and then my body reacts, but after all that…I am ready.
I am ready to tackle the task at hand. The things I think I cannot do. And I remind myself, that sometimes all it takes is about FIVE SECONDS OF AN INSANE AMOUNT OF COURAGE. and then i proceed and get through it. And guess what usually happens more times than not…..
I GAIN STRENGTH.
Each and every time! I copntinue to push forward, I do it and I come out victorious on the other side. The same is true of anything you’re fearing right now and failure will happen too. But if you never try, then how will you ever get any better?
“Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something. If someone is better than you at something, then it’s likely because she has failed at it more than you have.”
“If you think about a young child trying to learn how to walk, that child will fall down and hurt itself hundreds of times. But at no point does that child ever stop and think, “Oh, I guess walking just isn’t for me. I’m not good at it.”
How very perfect is that analogy?!
We must learn to be more like children in that regard. Be persistent, determined, unstoppable, fearless. I remember when my son was first learning how to walk and he fell down and sliced his entire area across his nose and I had to rush him to the ER and stop the bleeding and soothe the screaming. But you know what…..
I’m sure you can guess it…..
Yep, that didn’t stop him. Did he stop trying to learn how to walk from that point forward? Absolutely not! He was back at it the very next morning! We must not let our failures and our disappointments bring us so far down that we cannot get the determination to rise back up.
“We all get dealt cards. Some of us get better cards than others. And while it’s easy to get hung up on our cards, and feel we got screwed over, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards, the risks we decide to take, and the consequences we choose to live with. People who consistently make the best choices in the situations they’re given are the ones who eventually come out ahead in life. And it’s not necessarily the people with the best cards”.
I’m going to tell you a little secret…
I THINK THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS PLAYING THE HAND
YOU WERE DEALT LIKE IT WAS THE HAND YOU WANTED.
“If you are miserable in your current situation, chances are it’s because you feel like some part of it is outside your control- that there’s a problem you have no ability to solve, a problem that was somehow thrust upon you without your choosing. When we feel that we’re choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel victimized and miserable.”
We will all be forced to struggle in life at times. I think that is the human condition. But if you can look at it with the perspective that YOU get to choose how you handle it, then I think you take charge and begin to control it and make it your bitch! You have choices each and every day. You can choose to let the tidal wave wash over you or you can choose to build yourself a little raft and surf that wave and overcome it. The choice is yours.
“Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you. Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever RESPONSIBLE for your unhappiness but you. This is because YOU always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things.”
If you would like to read this book for yourself you can find it here.